My first race at world champs was the team sprint with Simi, and it was the most nervous and excited I’ve been for a race in years. I was a kid that got super nervous before races, to the point of not being able to eat. I overcame that gradually as I got older and experienced more failure, and learned that failure is never the end of the world. The past couple of years I’ve actually needed to force myself to get a little nervous for racing so I’m not too complacent, which is just the opposite problem! Most of this year I’ve been able to really nail my excitement level before races, using visualization and my natural competitiveness to fuel good nervous energy.
For the team sprint I wasn’t able to totally nail my energy. I felt a lot of pressure (from myself) to perform for Simi and for our whole team, as I was incredibly proud and honored with the opportunity to race this 2-person event at worlds. During the days leading up to the race, we did a lot of team practice to work on speed and tags (which get more important in a team sprint when you have to do it 5 times). I definitely had some uncertainty, both in my ability to execute the tags, and in my sprint speed, which is huge when going against some of the best sprinters on the world cup on a fast, powerful course. These doubts in the week before the race lead to a lot of internal stress, even if I fought it as hard as I could with positive statements, old race viewing, and talking to coaches. When I got to the start line I was super hyped and excited, but to the point of not being able to relax. The energy I had fueled a few laps of really good pack skiing, but was also a big part of me starting too soon in the tag zone, which lead to a quick brake and subsequent crash. :(
After I got up from the crash and tagged Simi, I went as hard as I could around the lap. I ended up skiing about as fast as the leaders, but closed no time, and knew I tagged him too far out to go through as a lucky loser. (I will point out that the front group could’ve all crashed, giving us a way through to the final, so I’m glad we both skied stupid hard last laps.) I was disappointed in myself for being too jumpy, and ruining our chances of a really good day with a stupid mistake. I felt like I let down Simi and my other teammates that could’ve raced. After so long looking forward to and focusing on this race, it was so hard to see our chances in the final hit the snow like that. HOWEVER, we have an amazing team, and the understanding support I received after the race was vital in my ability to continue with the championships. As much as Simi was disappointed in his last big team sprint, he was adamant that this stuff happens in races and that the result that day was not the make or break to his day, season, or career that I felt like it could be. It shows how much he cares about the team around him, and that leading means teaching and understanding, even when it’s time to execute, not necessarily learn. I still obviously made a mistake, and I’m glad everyone acknowledged that, and didn’t sugarcoat the actual event; but, I’m also glad they didn’t want me to beat myself up over it. Here’s to hoping I never make that mistake again!!! And here’s to an incredibly supportive group of dudes on this team. <3